The way new day starts, the form we want to shape for, the instinct of familiarity motion. There is an intrinsic desire of be one with the air and just float through these days, to feel vanished from actual times and to be be able to feel freedom, spirit liberation and mental period of anaesthesia. To stop thinking and start feeling. To get away, to get present. Duality of worlds.
“ Our favorite people and our favorite stories become so not by any inherent virtue, but because they illustrate something deep in the grain, something unadmitted.”
When it goes deeper through waters filled with silenced voices, when these attempts take you to deeper moments with lack of words. That precise time when everything feels darker but then in a second, suddenly all turns so much clearer and you can feel, by short term of time, but that feeling of calmness is better than all the path. There are good days and other kind of days. Today is a good one. Breathe.
We keep the track by sanity, moved by hope and fearlessly instinct, to know we are still here and there, with us. To remember how this is. To record the beginning of new phase. The very root causes of a full transformation. To still. To motion.
Finding order in chaos, finding comfort on simple things through this turbulent time.
Been trying to channel my own mental chaos into ways that may help me to change perspective, to be productive not in terms of standards but in mental productivity for my own sanity, appreciating simple and common situations where my mind rest in peace, experiences where I can notice my mind thinking on a positive way, periods of time where questions come and answer goes, but anxiety is not part of the equation, looking for uncomplicated matters that help me to reconnect with my own environment and my own space, understanding that there are things without answers, avoiding to spend any effort on situations where the questions are more than the answers. Looking for stability.
By trying to stay connected with our internal voice, by doing things that may help with mental peace achievement, by staying close to our senses, by avoiding unnecessary reactions, by trying to follow our own path, by looking for ourselves, by trying to finding us on simple things, by listening our flow, by paying attention to our own thoughts and feelings. By trying every single day.
Sometimes is just about acceptance. Acceptance to embrace those slow steps, those low lights slightly showing us the path, those quiet words surfing across your mind. Sometimes is just about decreasing the rhythm and seeing the things from a different angle. Even the emptiness has so much to say. Even the absence is full of messages. It’s always about motion and time. Perspective and limits.
The things you may realise at early hours are simply the best, just in the right moment where everything is still down and dark, when sounds around you are covered by silence and everything looks so much easy to break, just at the moment when birds are still quiet outdoors and then suddenly they start easily to break the chain of silence to giving us the chance for a slow awaking of our own senses. In that precise moment you can realise the magnitude of what your life has meaning in this world, how triggered we thought we were, finding how everything has a place, a reason behind the evident, a path that even when is there is still unknown for us, embracing the fact that we are just a part of this life, understanding and accepting that we are responsible for our little actions or the lack of them, raising the knowledge of ourselves may help to deliver a better time for the rest of us on this same experience called life.
Raw words, unedited.
Ways to start, to see and to feel, to be open to new sensations, to experiment with motion and stillness, to keep expanding our soul, to be able to conclude past and obsolete experiences, to increase the magnitud of sensibility, to approach the border of known limits, to be aware of the limited capacity of humans, to re-think what we believe, to challenge our times. To live our life. To experiment our dreams. To be consistent with the path we choose each day. To try, to fail, to learn, to try, to win. To change. To be. To love.
I used to ran to the lake each time my mind was passing through a turbulent phase. These two photos were made back in January, I can still remember and feel how pleasant the silence was, how I quickly walked into a status of serenity, how well the calmness was felt. I want these days to come back soon. I want simple and personal routines can take place soon. I want new and old forms can be merged in between together. I want to cope these times with peace by my hand.
Raw words, unedited.
In the name of insomnia.
Everything around is so quiet, the silence rules this time. The day is still covered by darkness. There are just few birds singing outside. My body is slow yet. The motion I feel is showing a lack of coordination. There is an instant where I can identify the freedom of time, the lack of pressure. Take my slow body outside the bed. Make the intent of feeding the puppy, he is not eating of course, too early, too late, who knows. Decide to make a coffee, the first of the day. First smell of the day that return me to home is coffee. Prepare the Italian machine and wait for while. The coffee is ready. By this time the birdsongs outside are intensive. I can feel my senses awaken. I feel good.
Thoughts into written words.
Just as the mechanics behind of that feeling of wanting the things more real, touchables and accountable. Helping within the flow, making it easier. To get to know myself.
“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”
— Joan Didion
Today I remember. 6 AM, making my first cup of coffee and the first thought I felt was the cold of this particular past day. Went to my film archives just to confirm that my memory was holding this view up, not less and not more. I was able to remember the cold air, I was able to feel the same peace and joy I felt that day, I was feeling the same excitement and I was feeling a deeper sentiment of hope. There were not borders, there were no wars, there was nothing but the magnificence of Mother Earth. Yesterday I asked about what give us hope and now I have my own answer, for me, the memory offers me a full sense of hope. I’m full. I’m good. Then my coffee was ready and I was pushed back to reality. That was my early morning. I’m well.
Mont Saint-Michel, 2018.
—-
L’homme et la mer
Homme libre, toujours tu chériras la mer !
La mer est ton miroir; tu contemples ton âme
Dans le déroulement infini de sa lame,
Et ton esprit n’est pas un gouffre moins amer.
Tu te plais à plonger au sein de ton image;
Tu l’embrasses des yeux et des bras, et ton coeur
Se distrait quelquefois de sa propre rumeur
Au bruit de cette plainte indomptable et sauvage.
Vous êtes tous les deux ténébreux et discrets
Homme, nul n’a sondé le fond de tes abîmes;
Ô mer, nul ne connaît tes richesses intimes,
Tant vous êtes jaloux de garder vos secrets !
Et cependant voilà des siècles innombrables
Que vous vous combattez sans pitié ni remord,
Tellement vous aimez le carnage et la mort,
Ô lutteurs éternels, ô frères implacables !
— Charles Baudelaire