We keep the track by sanity, moved by hope and fearlessly instinct, to know we are still here and there, with us. To remember how this is. To record the beginning of new phase. The very root causes of a full transformation. To still. To motion.
Feels the motion of new air.
Finding order in chaos, finding comfort on simple things through this turbulent time.
Been trying to channel my own mental chaos into ways that may help me to change perspective, to be productive not in terms of standards but in mental productivity for my own sanity, appreciating simple and common situations where my mind rest in peace, experiences where I can notice my mind thinking on a positive way, periods of time where questions come and answer goes, but anxiety is not part of the equation, looking for uncomplicated matters that help me to reconnect with my own environment and my own space, understanding that there are things without answers, avoiding to spend any effort on situations where the questions are more than the answers. Looking for stability.
By trying to stay connected with our internal voice, by doing things that may help with mental peace achievement, by staying close to our senses, by avoiding unnecessary reactions, by trying to follow our own path, by looking for ourselves, by trying to finding us on simple things, by listening our flow, by paying attention to our own thoughts and feelings. By trying every single day.
“We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget.”
Sometimes is just about acceptance. Acceptance to embrace those slow steps, those low lights slightly showing us the path, those quiet words surfing across your mind. Sometimes is just about decreasing the rhythm and seeing the things from a different angle. Even the emptiness has so much to say. Even the absence is full of messages. It’s always about motion and time. Perspective and limits.
The things you may realise at early hours are simply the best, just in the right moment where everything is still down and dark, when sounds around you are covered by silence and everything looks so much easy to break, just at the moment when birds are still quiet outdoors and then suddenly they start easily to break the chain of silence to giving us the chance for a slow awaking of our own senses. In that precise moment you can realise the magnitude of what your life has meaning in this world, how triggered we thought we were, finding how everything has a place, a reason behind the evident, a path that even when is there is still unknown for us, embracing the fact that we are just a part of this life, understanding and accepting that we are responsible for our little actions or the lack of them, raising the knowledge of ourselves may help to deliver a better time for the rest of us on this same experience called life.
Raw words, unedited.
Ways to start, to see and to feel, to be open to new sensations, to experiment with motion and stillness, to keep expanding our soul, to be able to conclude past and obsolete experiences, to increase the magnitud of sensibility, to approach the border of known limits, to be aware of the limited capacity of humans, to re-think what we believe, to challenge our times. To live our life. To experiment our dreams. To be consistent with the path we choose each day. To try, to fail, to learn, to try, to win. To change. To be. To love.
I used to ran to the lake each time my mind was passing through a turbulent phase. These two photos were made back in January, I can still remember and feel how pleasant the silence was, how I quickly walked into a status of serenity, how well the calmness was felt. I want these days to come back soon. I want simple and personal routines can take place soon. I want new and old forms can be merged in between together. I want to cope these times with peace by my hand.
Raw words, unedited.
“Not even the silence pursues me.”
In the name of insomnia.
Everything around is so quiet, the silence rules this time. The day is still covered by darkness. There are just few birds singing outside. My body is slow yet. The motion I feel is showing a lack of coordination. There is an instant where I can identify the freedom of time, the lack of pressure. Take my slow body outside the bed. Make the intent of feeding the puppy, he is not eating of course, too early, too late, who knows. Decide to make a coffee, the first of the day. First smell of the day that return me to home is coffee. Prepare the Italian machine and wait for while. The coffee is ready. By this time the birdsongs outside are intensive. I can feel my senses awaken. I feel good.
Thoughts into written words.
Just as the mechanics behind of that feeling of wanting the things more real, touchables and accountable. Helping within the flow, making it easier. To get to know myself.
“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”
— Joan Didion
Today I remember. 6 AM, making my first cup of coffee and the first thought I felt was the cold of this particular past day. Went to my film archives just to confirm that my memory was holding this view up, not less and not more. I was able to remember the cold air, I was able to feel the same peace and joy I felt that day, I was feeling the same excitement and I was feeling a deeper sentiment of hope. There were not borders, there were no wars, there was nothing but the magnificence of Mother Earth. Yesterday I asked about what give us hope and now I have my own answer, for me, the memory offers me a full sense of hope. I’m full. I’m good. Then my coffee was ready and I was pushed back to reality. That was my early morning. I’m well.
Mont Saint-Michel, 2018.
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L’homme et la mer
Homme libre, toujours tu chériras la mer !
La mer est ton miroir; tu contemples ton âme
Dans le déroulement infini de sa lame,
Et ton esprit n’est pas un gouffre moins amer.
Tu te plais à plonger au sein de ton image;
Tu l’embrasses des yeux et des bras, et ton coeur
Se distrait quelquefois de sa propre rumeur
Au bruit de cette plainte indomptable et sauvage.
Vous êtes tous les deux ténébreux et discrets
Homme, nul n’a sondé le fond de tes abîmes;
Ô mer, nul ne connaît tes richesses intimes,
Tant vous êtes jaloux de garder vos secrets !
Et cependant voilà des siècles innombrables
Que vous vous combattez sans pitié ni remord,
Tellement vous aimez le carnage et la mort,
Ô lutteurs éternels, ô frères implacables !
— Charles Baudelaire
One day at a time, stick on my head lately. Even when I wasn’t sure how this lockdown would change my routines and habits, I was meant to make it the most easier to me, trying to avoid self compromises that only would deliver stress and anxiety. I was open to be thankful for grace since the beginning. I was open to the idea of taking what our path has for us. There are days where I can only make it attached to the idea that this is just one day and it will pass soon.
Things I like from early mornings:
The sound of a silenced city, the darkness of early hours, the way the light starts falling trough my windows, the bird songs of each morning sounding different each time but remembering the same feeling of home, the first taste of coffee, the way I’m able to write and read without distractions, the pastel colour of the sky, if I’m lucky enough the way the clouds play their game, the sound of the people invading slowly the streets. The way I’m able to wake my senses up with the city. The feeling familiarity and simplicity. The way these ordinary things can do my path easier.
Common observations / appreciations.
Raw words, unedited.
There are easier days than others, there are moments that filling your emotions may give you the idea that everything is going well. There are other moments where the same emotions just offer nothing, makes you wonder what you are trying to do, trying to gain from that. And here is where perspective takes a relevant place, it’s the main point from where everything gets built, the basic point where the castle of emotions can shine or fell. Raising questions and doubts, changing emotions and trues in a single second, making everything more easy or more complex. Devastating doubts or gardening rivers of questions. Then, next day, you realised that everything is still there, all what you have thought is still shining, all what you have questioned seems very pretty logical and unnecessary of contrasts. Emotions are changing in every single minute. It’s a fact, it’s a reality. Recognition of those changes, understanding that it will keep changing, taking this just as a phase, visualising the coming perspective’ modification, listening our brains, trying to look for our very own and unique ways of keeping our peace. Giving the proper respect to yourself and to the personal changes you are facing. Giving the proper respect to the others around you, understanding that all we are into the same phase and everyone is trying to do our best.
Motion on emotions, the contrast.
Raw words, unedited.
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“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”
— Joan Didion
Common, unnoticed and ordinary moments helping to bring sanity back to our minds during this tough times.
“Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.”
— Joan Didion
There are simple routines to help mental sanity during this lockdown. There are also enough things causing disconnection and stressful moments. Letting the flow taking us trough all this, trying to accept that there are productive days but also flat days. Embracing the fact that each path is different. There are mountains and there are rivers. And it’s fine. There is light and dark. And it’s fine. Just let the motion of this flow take you trough all of this.
Call your loved ones and drink your coffee.
Raw words.
Was mean to be flying out to Paris right now.
What resilience means to me nowadays? How can I afford mental peace and emotional stability? What can I adopt to make it better? Or how can I just embrace the fact that we’re living unpredictable times where no matter the results everything is acceptable and the path that we could choose will let us growth on unexpected ways and formidable matters?
Keeping the trace on those impulses and trying to see objects from a different perspective deserve the merit out. Confined actions may result on self improved personal unknown methods. Created paths won’t fit these times, adjustments made on our very own matters may increase subconscious wonders.
Life is motion and sometimes it’s just about internal motion.
Raw words, unedited.
Perspective can change in a few second, what was commonly unappreciated can be turned into an unexplainable feeling of nostalgia. We add value to the things depending on perspective, accelerating, decreasing, adding or subtracting, empowering vision, converting visions on dreams, wishing for the best even we were already there. Not always perspective is real, but where is the limit between reality and perspective?